If i could tip my vagina, i would.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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