i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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