i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Sorry about my life...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
