I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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