Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
