We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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