Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
