Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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