you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
