I'm jealous of your bromance
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
