Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
