How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
