Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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