oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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