i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize