The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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