TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
