Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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