hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize