No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
