I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Panties = found
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