I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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