So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
