He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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