The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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