i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
