he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
