i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
