So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
