TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
