You're completely useless in the revolution.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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