IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
