dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
