i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
