I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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