I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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