dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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