he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
