Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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