YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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