Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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