Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
