I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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