After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
