Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
