In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
3pm strippers are depressing
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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