I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
