Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
