Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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