ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
