Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
