She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
