I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
