Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
