You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
