So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
