Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
