if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
