Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
