i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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