Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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