Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
